Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Who are you living for?

We have one life given to us. One chance to get it right. The world around us whispers no, yells to us, chase your dreams of money and power, a name that's known. But God whispers give it to me.

 I've tried both. 

I lived for God. I became a foster mom, stopped driving a convertible started driving a mini van.. And started chasing after Gods desire for my life. I felt his call on me to help the orphan/foster children. I started this blog. .. Did all these things and really felt this was Gods will for my life. 

Then my husband left.

And I think without really noticing I stopped having a passion for Gods call on my life. 

Sometimes we become weak and need someone else to hold us up. Instead of worrying about others and what I can do for them. I worried about me and how I'm going to make it. And I still do! But I also want to have a passion for his call again. Lord once again break my heart for what breaks yours. 

Friday, May 22, 2015

Saying goodbye to baby number three

Well this post is long overdue but thought I would give you the update anyways.

Baby S was with us from August until right before Christmas. Then she was able to be reunited with her family. Because of some situations that were going on in our family at the time, I feel like I had gotten even more attached to this little baby. She had started to walk and was beginning to say her first words, Mama and bye... This little girl lit up our life. It was hard to let her go, but I drove her to her home, handed to her mom, helped unload all her things, then kissed that baby girl goodbye. I don't know if I will ever see her again, but I do know God sees her every moment.

 Fostering is definitely challenging and heartbreaking, but it is so, so, very rewarding. It is worth every heartache. Baby S will always be remembered in our home.  I pray that God goes with her, that he blesses and keeps her and one day leads her heart to his

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Hello Again

It's been a long time. And so much has changed. I don't even know where to start.

Not long after my last post my life as I knew it fell apart. I thought everything was so perfect. My family made a great looking blog, a great looking Facebook page. We went to church, homeschooled two adorable kids, and on top of it all we were saving the world by also being foster parents. But when you look at yourself and think your doing pretty darn good..God has away of showing you that your so very human and so far from perfect.

Today I'm living in a different home then I was eight months ago, and my husband lives somewhere else. The stress of everything has made this homeschool year very difficult to do. My kids are acting out and "the calling" of foster care that God put in my heart for so long, is no longer happening. I closed our home after the last baby left (I will share more about it in another blog post). Funny how quickly life can change.

James 4:14
Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.

I don't know if anyone still reads this blog but I plan on getting back on the horse and starting to write here again. Telling my story. If for nothing else then for me to look back one day and be able to say "See what God has done". Today is my ten year wedding anniversary. Last night my husband told me again that it's over.

I don't know where my life is going to go from here. But I do know it's time to get it back in order. And it's time to start this blog back up! This blog started out about homeschooling, then about wanting to adopt, then it was about becoming foster parents..and now I guess I would say this blog is about life. It's the always changing, never predicted, roller coaster ride called life.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Fostering Again

Wow! I have really neglected this blog lately. We have been busy here with a new placement. Once again we have a baby girl. This is strictly foster and it has already been determined that she will go home. Probably sometime close to November. This case has been a little more frustrating. I haven't really made that great connection with the birth parents like I did with baby A yet. And don't feel as happy with the idea of reunification. Probably in part because of that lack of connection. Hopefully by November I will feel more at peace with it. On a plus side, when it comes to just the idea of fostering again I feel less nervous this time around. I guess I am beginning to feel a little more experienced. I have learned that no two cases are alike and have gotten used to that. I guess the best way to put it is I'm getting used to the surprises. Lol. 

On another note we have also started school back up as of yesterday! One in second grade and one in fourth grade. I feel so old!I haven't been able to get school pictures done for this school year quite yet. Hopefully in the next few days. I will be sure to post some here! Thanks so much for all of you that are still keeping up with this blog. I have to admit it's been slow lately. But fall is coming. Being cooped up inside tends to allow more time for blogging. :)

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

We Miss Her

Monday we had to give our sweet baby girl back. Foster Care can be soo unpredictable. She wasn't supossed to leave until today. But Monday morning I got a call saying surprise, she's leaving now. I called my hubby and he managed to make it home to say goodbye to our daughter of five months.

I'm not going to lie. It was hard telling her goodbye. Her mom is great and I feel baby will be well taken care of. But my heart when I handed that precious little girl back to her....

Sometimes life brings you to these hard moments. We do everything in our power to avoid pain in life but this time we brought it on ourselves. I'm sure some would say were crazy. Why would you do that to yourself? BUT what if no one was ever willing to hurt for one another? What if God wasn't willing to hurt for us? I will miss that little girl. But I know He will help us. I have felt His peace carrying me through. That's how I know I can do this. Loving and giving back.

It hurts. But we did it. We loved her when she needed us. We gave her snuggles and bedtime kisses.  And hopefully touched her life. Now God goes with her.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Goodbye's Coming

In my last post I had mentioned that our Baby girl's court date was coming up where we would hear which way her case was heading. Well court came and went and we now know that our little sweetie will be going home soon. Right now it's looking like she will leave next week.

So many emotions go with this.

I am really sincerely happy for her mom.
I think it's awesome how well she did and how determined she was to get her beautiful baby back.

At the same time we will miss her here. But God is good. He gives us peace.

All these kids, they are God's anyways. We can only give them to Him and trust that no matter where our children go He goes with them. And He will be good to them.

Baby girl will have been with us for close to 5 months. When people considering foster care read stuff like this it scares them away. They think " I couldn't do that".

I honestly thought the same thing.

 But now that I'm here I realize that when you step out to do Gods will in your life no matter what it is, even if it looks to hard for you, He will be everything you need.

He will be your strength.
Your comfort.
Your hope.

 I don't feel stressed or anxious about her leaving. I feel peace. I can do this! I can foster and say goodbye. Because of Him.

We are going to miss all the little things about her. Her laugh, smiles, things laying all around the house...but we will keep moving forward taking care of these precious kids. Even if there is heartbreak.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Life Lately

I'm sorry. It's been forever. We are still fostering Baby Girl. And I'm pretty sure she is getting more adorable every day. Her court date is coming up soon and I am sooo ready to have an idea of which way her case is going.

The joys of fostering.

You never know whats up ahead.

 Like a few days ago when  we went to a friends house for pizza and ended up coming home with a baby! Yep, we got the call on the way to their house ( after we had already picked up the pizza) asking us if we would do respite for a 6 month old baby girl. We said yes. They dropped her off to us on our friends porch at 9:30 that night. She actually just went back to her foster family this morning. It was an interesting few days!

  Lots of bottles, diapers, and giggles. A four month old and a six month old..... Fun, but I am relieved to be back to just one baby!

Friday, June 20, 2014

What can I say?

Sometimes I just don't know what to pray for in the life of this little girl. If it is His will we would love to have her stay a part of our lives. We are attached to her and could totally picture her in our family. At the same time I don't want her parents to fail at getting her back. I want them to be restored. For God to work in their lives. I'm learning that foster care can leave you feeling heartbroken. One side has to say goodbye.
But we can pray. 
God knows.
He is amazing. 
He has good for her.


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