I never intended to foster. It wasn't in my plans. But somehow what started out as wanting to adopt turned into me one day taking that first phone call from CPS. They asked if I would take a little three year old girl, there was no other info other than she needed a home. So I said yes. It was 8:00 that night in January 2014 when they showed up on my door and I first became a foster mom. Two years later (after telling my husband all my foster stories and a recent phone call from my agency asking if I would consider adopting a baby) here I am again. My husband and I have decided to open our home back up to foster. I'm still licensed so it will be a quick process of just getting him some certifications and training and then I will once again be a foster mom. I couldn't be more excited!! Our lives sometimes go different paths than we originally plan. And it's perfect. So here we go again!! Until God says stop.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
My kids both still love fostering as well and had a blast with these respite placements as they were all three a little older (between the ages of four and six). Right now we are once again not taking any placements due to the fact that I just got married and he is not yet licensed. But this is definitely something we are thinking about doing as a couple so I will keep you updated!!
I am so thankful for the days of fostering that I have had and one day soon hope to be doing it again. But no matter where I am in life I am choosing to enjoy every moment. Trying to take this time and enjoy more moments with my kids. They grow so fast! We are also hoping to add a new little baby to our lives one day soon.
We have dreams, we all do. But never forget to look at where you are, breathe, and Simply Live!
Monday, January 23, 2017
"God your God, will restore everything you lost; he'll have compassion on you; he'll come back and pick up the pieces from all the places where you were scattered." - Deuteronomy 30:3
That verse has been my prayer over my life for the past two and a half years, ever since my ex walked out and my life took a different path. I figured it's now time to update you guys on life, love and His promises! Life certainly doesn't always go as planned, it will throw us curve balls when we're least expecting it. But there is one thing that is always the same. His name is Jesus!
I would say 2014 was definitely one of those years in my life that didn't go as expected. My ex randomly came home one day and told me that the Christian, foster parent, church life he had been living was a lie and that he was actually an alcoholic, hated church, hated God, smoked, did drugs, etc. He began drinking even more after that day. I guess since he wasn't hiding it anymore he felt like he could openly display his lifestyle to me. He was coming home drunk and going to church the same way. I was fostering baby S at the time and was terrified as to whether or not I should contact my agency and inform them about what was going on. A few weeks later he became suicidal and began cutting as well. It was a live my nightmare being home with him. To make a long story ( that I really don't want to dwell on) short, he ended up being admitted in the hospital and upon discharge told me he wasn't coming home. Looking back now I can see how much I have changed. God knew what was best all along! I learned so much by becoming a single mom. I become bolder, more determined to prosper in life, I also learned who my real friends were. And most of all I learned to really depend on God.
And now for the part about how his promises are true! The Bible says that God is faithful to restore things in our lives that were lost. There may be times in our lives where it looks like the enemy is winning, but he isn't! God is in control of all things, and believe me when I say He knows what He is doing!! He works all things for good. I have seen it first hand in my life. When I began my life as a single parent He was right there. He provided everything I needed and even gave me some unexpected blessings. I wanted to share three of these great blessing with you guys!
1) He gave me a great job!!! I work as a private nanny and only have to work two days a week while making more than I was making by working everyday at a daycare. This means more time home with my family.
2) We found a great school for the kids! They go to a small private school with awesome teachers, great friends, and a great curriculum.
3) ( I saved the best for last) He sent me someone! Someone who loves me, loves God, protects me and the kids and is all together amazing! One of the things I love the most? He is GREAT with the kids. They love him so much which means the world to me. The best part is he asked me to be his wife and I said yes!!!!!!!!!
Officially Mrs. Rachel Brown!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Baby S was with us from August until right before Christmas. Then she was able to be reunited with her family. Because of some situations that were going on in our family at the time, I feel like I had gotten even more attached to this little baby. She had started to walk and was beginning to say her first words, Mama and bye... This little girl lit up our life. It was hard to let her go, but I drove her to her home, handed to her mom, helped unload all her things, then kissed that baby girl goodbye. I don't know if I will ever see her again, but I do know God sees her every moment.
Fostering is definitely challenging and heartbreaking, but it is so, so, very rewarding. It is worth every heartache. Baby S will always be remembered in our home. I pray that God goes with her, that he blesses and keeps her and one day leads her heart to his.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Not long after my last post my life as I knew it fell apart. I thought everything was so perfect. My family made a great looking blog, a great looking Facebook page. We went to church, homeschooled two adorable kids, and on top of it all we were saving the world by also being foster parents. But when you look at yourself and think your doing pretty darn good..God has away of showing you that your so very human and so far from perfect.
Today I'm living in a different home then I was eight months ago, and my husband lives somewhere else. The stress of everything has made this homeschool year very difficult to do. My kids are acting out and "the calling" of foster care that God put in my heart for so long, is no longer happening. I closed our home after the last baby left (I will share more about it in another blog post). Funny how quickly life can change.
Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.
I don't know if anyone still reads this blog but I plan on getting back on the horse and starting to write here again. Telling my story. If for nothing else then for me to look back one day and be able to say "See what God has done". Today is my ten year wedding anniversary. Last night my husband told me again that it's over.
I don't know where my life is going to go from here. But I do know it's time to get it back in order. And it's time to start this blog back up! This blog started out about homeschooling, then about wanting to adopt, then it was about becoming foster parents..and now I guess I would say this blog is about life. It's the always changing, never predicted, roller coaster ride called life.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Monday we had to give our sweet baby girl back. Foster Care can be soo unpredictable. She wasn't supossed to leave until today. But Monday morning I got a call saying surprise, she's leaving now. I called my hubby and he managed to make it home to say goodbye to our daughter of five months.
I'm not going to lie. It was hard telling her goodbye. Her mom is great and I feel baby will be well taken care of. But my heart when I handed that precious little girl back to her....
Sometimes life brings you to these hard moments. We do everything in our power to avoid pain in life but this time we brought it on ourselves. I'm sure some would say were crazy. Why would you do that to yourself? BUT what if no one was ever willing to hurt for one another? What if God wasn't willing to hurt for us? I will miss that little girl. But I know He will help us. I have felt His peace carrying me through. That's how I know I can do this. Loving and giving back.
It hurts. But we did it. We loved her when she needed us. We gave her snuggles and bedtime kisses. And hopefully touched her life. Now God goes with her.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
So many emotions go with this.
I am really sincerely happy for her mom.
I think it's awesome how well she did and how determined she was to get her beautiful baby back.
At the same time we will miss her here. But God is good. He gives us peace.
All these kids, they are God's anyways. We can only give them to Him and trust that no matter where our children go He goes with them. And He will be good to them.
Baby girl will have been with us for close to 5 months. When people considering foster care read stuff like this it scares them away. They think " I couldn't do that".
I honestly thought the same thing.
But now that I'm here I realize that when you step out to do Gods will in your life no matter what it is, even if it looks to hard for you, He will be everything you need.
He will be your strength.
I don't feel stressed or anxious about her leaving. I feel peace. I can do this! I can foster and say goodbye. Because of Him.
We are going to miss all the little things about her. Her laugh, smiles, things laying all around the house...but we will keep moving forward taking care of these precious kids. Even if there is heartbreak.